Post by TG Barighm on Aug 2, 2022 18:00:04 GMT -5
MEANWHILE...
Cordelia's second scream echoed through the halls. She turned a corner, running as fast as her legs could carry her, but slipped when she hit a spot marked "wet floor". She tripped into a wall and dropped to the ground. She landed hard with a frightened squeak.
Seconds later the muck faced students appeared, their earlier limping and shuffling improved to more of a brisk walk. They reached for the fallen fashion queen and groaned in her direction.
The janitor stepped out of a nearby room, mop in hand.
"Good lord, little lady! What're you doing here on spring break?" he asked. He held out a hand to reach for Cordelia, but it was the gooey hand of a student that grabbed it from behind. "What the hell...?" is all the poor man got out before a gooed up teenager wrapped him in its arms and dragged him to the ground. The janitor screamed as zombified students piled onto him. But a few others kept their sights on Cordelia. She screamed again.
A mop suddenly struck the foremost student in the face, then a backhand sent the top of the mop held into its knee. The student dropped.
"Never knew broom handles could be so useful," Xander said. He reached down to grab Cordelia. "Cordy, come on!"
Cordelia allowed Xander to yank her to her feet, and then the two of them were away, sprinting down the corridor to its end.
"This is more than just a bad skin day, right?" Cordelia asked as they ran.
"Nope! They're zombies! Poop zombies!" Xander declared happily.
"Poop! You mean that stuff on their faces...?"
Xander nodded vigorously. "Yep!"
Cordelia screamed again. "This is worse than vampires!"
"I know! Isn't it great?"
"How in the world is stinky, smelly, disgusting, bacteria ridden, excretion covered people 'great'?"
"They're zombies!"
By that point the two had reached the end of the hall. The corridor terminated in a T-intersection with halls branching to the left and right. Both were closed off with a pair of double doors. Xander immediately went to the one on his right and pushed the door, but it didn't budge.
"The other one!" Xander said, and the two crossed to the other door. It also didn't budge. Xander pushed on it again.
"Uh, oh," Xander muttered.
"What do you mean 'Uh oh'?"
"The doors are locked. But they're never locked. They're usually wide open," Xander remarked.
"It's spring break!" Cordelia shrieked. She pointed at the window in the door. "Just smash it open and unlock it."
"I can't! This is one of those electronically latched doors. You need a key to release it. They put in a whole bunch of these after Spike and his cronies got into the school and went on a murder spree."
"Then break the window!"
Xander gave Cordelia a doubtful look, but he smashed the window in the door with the mob handle. The glass cracked, but it didn't break. Xander struck it again, but it held firm. He tossed the mop aside.
"Well, now we know why the Paris trip was canceled," Xander said.
The two turned back to the hall. The filth faced students quickly shuffled towards them, now half way down the hall. They were joined by the janitor whose face was covered by a pink hand print.
The two pressed their backs against the wall. Slowly they slid to the ground.
"It's not so bad," Xander said. "So we'll get poo on our faces. A bit of soap and a round of antibiotics and we'll be just fine. Seen it happen already."
Cordelia started crying.
"But in case it doesn't happen that way, I just want to say, Cordy, thanks for giving this loser a chance."
Cordelia stopped whimpering. She gave Xander's grinning face a confused look. Somehow he always managed to put on that goofy face even when the world was about to be destroyed.
"No, Xander, I should thank you."
Now it was Xander's turned to be puzzled. "For what?"
"For giving this pompous girl a chance."
Xander shrugged. "That's what we losers do. We give them all a chance. Not like we have anything to lose." He pulled out the spray bottle from his belt. "Shame we didn't have more of this stuff. It washes the poop right off." He tossed the bottle away.
Cordelia's eyes widened. "What?"
"The goo. That makes the zombies. You can wash it right off. Turns them back to normal. And when it's fresh like that, it comes off much easier."
Cordelia jumped to her feet. "Why didn't you just say that before?"
Xander blinked. "But...I thought you were afraid of the zombies?"
"I'm not afraid of zombies, you...loser! I'm afraid of messing up my hair. Do you know how much this costs?" Cordelia then stomped over to the fire station in the wall where she pulled the fire extinguisher from its nook.
"Cordy, that's not going to wash off the..."
"I know!" Cordelia interrupted. She pointed at the emergency fire hose.
"Cordy, you need a firefighter's key or the janitor's key for..."
"We have one!" And with that, Cordelia smashed the glass case protecting the hose, then immediately began uncoiling it. "Now help me get this thing running."
"Yes oh pompous one," Xander replied. He grabbed the entire set of hose and pulled it off in one go while Cordelia quickly read over the instructions for the hose. Once she was ready, and Xander had uncoiled some of the hosing, she pointed the nozzle at the zombies. They were less than a dozen yards away.
"Hit it, Xander!" Cordelia ordered.
"Okay, but we don't want to hurt them, so I'm only giving you a bit of pres..."
"Just hit it!"
Xander turned the valve. Water poured through. The hose rapidly expanded.
The water exploded from the nozzle with great force, but Cordelia wasn't ready for it. The hose immediately yank itself from her hands and coiled around her legs, threatening to knock her over. She grabbed for the nozzle head, but it continued to fight her, spraying much of the hall except for the zombies. She wrestled the nozzle to the ground, but the rest of the hose continued to fight her.
The hose suddenly settled down. Cordelia felt a firm hand at her side.
"I got you, Cordy," Xander said. He had taken hold of the hose immediately behind her. "I'll take care of the dirty work. You focus on making them clean."
Cordelia gave Xander a playful grin, then turned to the approaching zombies. "It's time for an extreme makeover." She pointed the nozzle.
With the hose now firmly controlled, a torrent of water washed over the zombies and sent the lot of them falling onto their backsides. The extreme force of the blast blew away the goo instantly. Even after the zombies had been floored, Cordelia approached the fallen zombies and gave them an additional pass of water just to make sure. They were soaking wet and damn near flooded the hall, but the zombies were clean.
"And that's how you clean up a zombie problem," Xander joked.
Cordelia chuckled in triumph.
Slowly the downed students, and one janitor, rose to their feet.
"Uh...what happened?" one student asked.
"I don't know. We were in the chem lab, and then..."
"Wasn't there an explosion?"
"I think one of you kissed me," the janitor said.
"What the hell is going on?" Snyder's shrill voice cried out.
Xander and Cordelia froze. They dropped the hose.
Principal Snyder made his way down the hall, pointing at every puddle he came across.
"What...how...why...this...and here...and..." Snyder stopped when he reached the students. He gave Cordelia a murderous glare. "Ms. Chase...what did you do to my school?"
Cordelia blinked uncertainly. "Um..."
Xander ran over to close the valve. "She didn't do anything, principal Snyder. It was me. All me." He moved to stand in front of Cordelia. He pointed himself. "Me! The loveable loser. You know, the guy who is always hanging out with troublemakers."
Snyder crossed his arms. "I don't doubt for one moment you are responsible for this, Harris, given Ms. Chase would likely be too afraid to break a fingernail let alone wield a hose, but what I want to know is why and who is going to pay for this."
"Uh..." Xander thought for a moment. He looked at the students. "Another pipe broke! Yes, in the chem lab. And...another one down here. We were...cleaning it up?"
Snyder responded with an incredulous look. "Is this true?"
"Yes!" one of the students replied. "I distinctly remember something exploding in the chem lab. And then it got all...stinky."
"Is that so?" Snyder looked to Xander again. He pointed. "I'm going to check this out. You two clean this up! I don't care how long it takes, just do it. And when you're finished, get back to cleaning my library."
"Yes, sir! Of course, sir," Xander replied.
Cordelia tilted her head quizzically. "The library?"
Xander shook his head. "Don't ask."
Snyder stomped down the hall, muttering quite audibly about "irresponsible" students all the while. As he reached the entrance to the hall, Giles turned the corner. Before the librarian could say anything, Snyder rounded on him.
"Get control of your students, Rupert, or you'll spend the rest of your spring break looking for a new job," Snyder yelled.
"Yes, of course, sir! I'll have a frank discussion with their parents," Giles replied.
"You had better!" Snyder said before stomping around the corner.
"And I'm certain their parents will be happy to assist with the bill, sir," Giles called after the man.
The three vampire hunters slowly made their way over to each other as the rest of the students limped out of the hall. The janitor went back to work.
"Let me get the right equipment for this. After we're done here, you can show me that broken sewer pipe," the janitor said. He walked off.
"Of course," Giles replied. He turned to Xander and Cordelia. "It would seem we need to find a sewer pipe to break."
Xander nodded. "Yep."
"And it would appear it is about time for another under the table school donation from your parents," Giles said to Cordelia.
She nodded. "Oh, yeah."
"Right. I'll go get the blue prints." Giles reached for the radio in his pocket. "I pray Buffy is faring better."
The radio crackled to life. "Giles, Xander, I could use your help over here."